What do you communicate to your children?

Kids rock!  I enjoy serving them and being around them.  I love my children!  They are a blessing and joy!  Sadly not all children know this.  What do your children know? 

The other day I observed a mother who expressed to her children that they were a burden on her life.  I heard her refer to them as “stupid”, “idiots”, and “money suckers.”  There were other things she said but I will not repeat them.  This mother also didn’t seem to care that she was belittling her children in front of an audience.  These children were ages 4 and 6.  The children looked as though they just wanted love and affection from their mother but instead received aversion.  My heart broke for them and their mother. 

           

            As I reflected on what I saw and heard; I wondered what I communicate to my children.  I am very careful as a Dad to never say anything or do anything demeaning to my children even when I am angry with them.  But I am not perfect.  And it’s not just words that can communicate.  Not too long ago, I was home working.  Working required me to use my computer.  If you ever watch me work, I am intense and focused...most of the time.  My son Evan came to me, really wanting to show me something that was amazing and important to him.  He was excited!   But I was busy and had a deadline.  I told him not right now.  I said I would look at it later.  Later came and I didn’t see it.  I never followed through with him.   Evan wanted to show me something and instead I showed Evan that what I was doing was more important than him.  

            If we are not careful, we become no different than that mother.  Do our children come and seek love and affection from us and receive the opposite? I am guilty!  I have had to ask my children for their forgiveness.  I remember on a couple of occasions telling Evan how sorry I was and he looked right at me and said, “Daddy I love you and remember only Jesus is perfect.”  Thanks buddy! 

Children are NEVER a burden.  They are always important.  Psalms 127: 3 tells us that, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”  Jesus’ Apostles at one point thought that children were being a burden but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”  (Matthew 19:14).  Children need to know that we love them and have heart for them.  Not only by what we say to them but how we show it to them. 

            One day they will be grown and out of the house.  What will they have learned from us?  May the things you do and say be edifying to your children.  Love your children in accordance with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  Play with them, teach them, comfort them, laugh with them, love on them, and be a kid with them.   Kids Rock!

-James

Slow down...

I was the summer of1989.  I was eleven and in a hurry.  It was a Sunday night…it was church and dinner at Westside Christian Church in J-ville (Jacksonville), Fl.  I was in a hurry to play football with the boys…the crew.  At the time, I remember that our front doors in the lobby on both sides were solid wood with no way of seeing who was coming…well for me at least because I wasn’t big enough to see out of the top peep holes.  My mom had told me not run and slow down because people were coming in with food for the dinner through the front doors.  “Yeah, whatever” is what I said to myself.  My mom didn’t understand.  It was football time before church and it was the most important thing.  So I ran for the doors and I jumped and kicked the front door open.  Now as soon as I did that…I knocked one of our older ladies down.  I just didn’t knock her down…there were stairs (only 3 steps up but nonetheless) and she fell down those stairs and dropped the food on the ground that she had spent her entire afternoon preparing.  My response was “whoops” and I continued on to go play football.  About a minute later, I heard a familiar voice.  It was a voice I feared.  It was my dad and I heard him say, “James Marshall, you come inside right now…boy you better hurry up.”  I was a dead man walking.

I am reminded of this story as I write this because I am aggravated.  I am aggravated that just within the day…someone thought it was important to ride my bumper as I was going the speed limit in a residential zone.  Ray Charles could read the “Baby on Board” sign on my truck as well as seen my children in the back seat but apparently this person riding my tail didn’t concern themselves with my family’s well-being only their desire to get where they wanted go.  I am aggravated that I am also almost got into an accident because the person driving in front me was busy texting while they were driving.  Apparently it was more important to this individual to text their responses rather than calling or just waiting or better yet just pulling over.  I am aggravated because as continued to drive, there was another individual who decided that they didn’t want to be stuck behind a bus so they cut me off last second, making swerve my truck as not to hit their car.  I beeped my horn and received the middle finger.  All of these people had the, “yeah, whatever” mentality.  Apparently I didn’t understand, they had to get where they had to go and it was more important than my well-being or safety of me and my family. 

My father told me as I came inside the church that I had problem.  He said look, “You’ve hurt this lady and all of her time and money she spent into making something for the dinner tonight is out the window because you decided it was more important to not listen to your mother, be disobedient, and in a hurry.”   She had cut herself from falling down the steps.  She was crying…and now so was I.  My impatience, my disobedience, my selfishness had someone.  Now it wasn’t all that bad but it could have been. 

I am reminded as I share this story that I was eleven…but sometimes we don’t grow up or learn our lesson the first time…as adults we tend to still think like children.  Paul told the church in Corinth, “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” (1 Corinthians 13:11).  What’s our rush?  Why are we so impatient?  What is so important that we don’t care for the well-being of others and put their lives as well as ours at risk?  Slow down, breathe.   Paul reminds the church in Philippi, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4).  Now that reference has a lot to do with Jesus.  Those of us that are Christians…how is the Light of Jesus shining through us when we are in a rush…not patient…not caring for the well-being of other because we are in a hurry or something is more important?  How does it represent the fruit that the Spirit produces through the Christians? (Galatians 5)  It doesn’t! 

All I am saying today is this:   Be safe and be considerate…slow down, relax, God is sovereign! Be obedient and patient today.  Think of not only your well-being, but those around you as well.  Demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in all that you do.  Remember that there is nothing more important than loving God and loving people! 

What are you doing today?

What are you doing today?  Work?  Errands? Paying Bills? Being a Mommy…or Daddy?  Stuff?  All the above and more?  I bet during your normal (what’s normal) routine of a day…you come across many people or speak to many people on the phone.  Sometimes they are people like you or maybe they are people from different cultures, race, and economic backgrounds.  What do you talk about with these people…or do you talk with them at all? 

I want to talk with my fellow Christians…my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Have you noticed how crazy life seems to be lately?  Our economic times aren’t as good or great as we would like them to be.  Families are hurting…and breaking up.  People are putting faith into the wrong thing or things.  People are succumbing to addictions that are literally killing them.  People don’t seem care anymore.  The Media is promoting doom and gloom.  Well this actually nothing new as Solomon has told us.  But for you and I (Christ’s people) we know that God is bigger than what life throws at us.  We know that God is sovereign no matter what happens.  We know that Christ died for us that our joy can never be taken from us.   We see life through different lenses.  Now having said all of that to say this…are you sharing Christ with the hopeless, the broken, the hurting, and the lost?  In this moment…in this time…is our chance to shine the light of Jesus (Matthew 5:13-16). 

Too often as Christians we get caught up in doing things that are a waste of time.  Things that take away from growing God’s Kingdom.  Jesus said (in basic terms) to love God and love people.  Are you loving God by living a sanctified life and letting Christ shine through you?  Are loving and edifying your brothers and sisters in Christ and also loving people to Jesus? 

I want to share a brief story that was convicting to me.  In the past week, I was able to hear some friends of mine, Beth & DQ Roberts, who are bikers that have a ministry called Christian Riders Ministry.  Check them out here www.christianriders.org

DQ briefly shared his testimony and he acknowledged that at one point in his life that he was lost, broken, hurt, and all the above.  One of the decided factors into him coming to the Lord other than the story of Jesus and what Jesus did for him was a church person who grabbed DQ by the arm and told him that he was “home.”  Someone let the light of Christ shine through them and it led DQ to Jesus.  In turn, DQ and his bride Beth have been leading many to Jesus for over 20 years.  Beth and DQ literally went to the heart of the “lion’s den” and let the Light of Christ shine.   You never what could happen when you talk to someone about the Lord.  People need Jesus!  What was convicting were the words spoken by DQ after his testimony, he said, “I decided that I was going tell everyone about Christ, I wanted them to know the two greatest stories ever known:  The one about Jesus and the one about what Jesus did for us.  I had a vision that there were two lines before God:  One line was for those who were saved and the other line was for those who weren’t.  I decided that those in the other line were never going to be able to say to me, “Why did you never tell me about Jesus when talked to me?”  That last part of his talk convicted me.

How many do we have contact with daily and never tell them about Jesus?  How many have died with Christ all because we were caught up in our daily routines?  Jesus said that He was the Way, The Truth, and The Life and no comes to Father except through Him (John 14:6).  We know that, but what about those that don’t…have we told them.  To my brothers and sisters in Christ, you are familiar with Jesus' words in Matthew 28:18-20.  One day this life will be over and the new life we are so eager for will come.  Are there going to be people in the “other line” that say to you, “Why did you never tell me about Jesus when you talked to me?”  You know the story of Jesus and you know what Jesus did.  So back to my first question:  What are you doing today? 

Transition Teachings!

I apologize for not writing a blog for quite some time...well in a long time.    I took the fall off from blogging as I needed to finish school.  School is done and now I can come back to blogging.  So here we go!

Transitions are fun!  Well, sometimes.  Okay so they can stressful as well.  As I write this, I have been away from my wife and children since December 16, 2011.  Nothing terrible happened, but I finally finished school after 39 years (even though I am only 34 but work with me).  Graduation meant that we were done with living on campus and we had to move.  We didn’t have a place to move to, yet.  I was hired full time at West Orange Christian Church (I love WOCC) at the end of November that would start by the beginning of January 2012.  What that meant is we needed a place to live and soon.  We did find a place, a place that we really, really liked.  But it wouldn’t be available until February 1, 2012.  We decided that is was worth the wait, so my wife along with our children stayed in South Florida with her mom and dad (my in-laws rock) and I stayed up in Orlando to work.  Now I have said all of that to say this:  Transition has been a time of teaching.  Here is what I have learned about myself in the last 45 days:  1) I hate being away from wife and children, I truly hate it! 2)  I have more of appreciation for wife than I ever have, I am truly nothing without her and I don’t care if you make fun of me for that…she is truly my rib. 3) My children are joy and I don’t want to miss any more time with them (those who say “how can anyone one bring a child into this world” truly don’t get the joy of being a parent).  4) I am a big wieny! I never want to be away from my family like this ever again.  I have so much more respect for our service men and women who are gone from their families, months to years, so they can sacrifice and serve our country. 

The time of teaching isn’t done.  There are some parallels here.  I also learned that I hate being away from God.   I began to consume His Word like I haven’t done in years.  I communed with God often in this last 45 days.  I did all of this before but something was different for me this time.    There was void missing in my life…it was my family…and I knew God would give me what needed to fill that void.  David told God that he waited for Him all day (Psalm 25:5).  David also reminded me in Psalm 27 and 28 that only God can fill my emptiness and that only God will carry me.  Why would I want to be away from God?  That’s foolishness, what else will carry me or sustain me or bring me joy or bring me peace…NOTHING!  Are you far away from God?  Why? 

I also realized that I am no good one my own.  I have known this for long time…but for some reason it was different for me this time.  Jesus tells His men as recorded by John in his letter, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned.” (John 15:4-6). Drawing near God compels me to be like my Jesus.  Jesus is my life!  My life wasn’t the same without Him…it was dark and hopeless.  I hated my life before Christ!  I was never meant to be separated from Him.  He died for me…He came to give me life eternal…He came to break my chains of sin so I could be with The Father forever…why then would I forsake Him?  No way!  I don’t want to be apart from Him, ever!  He is my Lord and my God.  He is the reason I live!  Are you attached to the Vine bearing fruit or are you on the verge of being cut off ? 

We have a Father in Heaven who loves us (John 3:16,17; Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:10; Ephesians 2:4; Romans 5:1-5, 8:28, 38-39, just to share a few scripture but there are a ton more that say the same).  I certainly don’t want to miss out on any more time with Him.  Do you feel the same?

Have a blessed day and will talk with you soon

-James