Moving on!

         It’s been awhile…almost three months.  There has been a reason for my absence from blogging. Since the moment I came home graduating, it has been a rollercoaster ride…some fun and some not so fun! 

Unfortunately in the last three months I have seen first-hand as well as experienced heart ache.  If you live life long enough…you have experienced heart ache.  It isn’t fun.   Sadly what I speak occurred between the children of God…the family of Christ; people I am very close with or now, was.  I now know why some people choose not to be a Christian…not because of Christ but because of His people. 

I haven’t blogged because sometimes when people write out of anger, out of emotion…what they write can be harsh, destructive, hateful, or the like. I didn’t want to do that.  Jesus commands me to love God and love people.  I know the first command can be hard but so is that second command.  Jesus tells us to love another.  I have said before that love defines Jesus and it also defines us (Christians).  We are also called to be at peace with another.  But not everyone who is a Christian heeds these words.   They don’t heed it because of pride, arrogance…sin!

Growing up as a preacher’s kid, this is not my first time dealing with heart ache within the church and as a preacher now, it won’t be my last.  It nothing new…look at the warnings Paul wrote to the churches as well as Timothy ( a preacher):

“Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.”

 – Romans 16:17-18

“O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called “knowledge” which some have professed and thus gone astray from the faith.”

– 1 Timothy 6:20-21

“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.”

 – Colossians 2:8

“I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”

- 2 Timothy 4:1

“Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things. But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who will render to each person according to his deeds: to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life; but to those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation. There will be tribulation and distress for every soul of man who does evil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek,  but glory and honor and peace to everyone who does good, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For there is no partiality with God.  For all who have sinned without the Law will also perish without the Law, and all who have sinned under the Law will be judged by the Law; for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified. For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves, in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them,  on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.”

- Romans 2:1-16

Jesus and Peter also warned of this:

“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.”

 - Matthew 7:15-20

“But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”

- 2 Peter 2:1-3

As I write this…I have spent much, much time with my Father in heaven.  I have asked for forgiveness and have forgiven those I needed to forgive.   I am moving on.   I will say this last thing:  To all of my Christian family, my brothers and sisters…test every action you make, every thought you have, all of your emotions to that of Scripture.  Be sound in doctrine, in truth; not according to you or anyone else but to that of Jesus…to God’s Word. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.”

– Proverbs 3:5-7

“Love* one another!”

-Jesus

*for a better definition of this love (agape) see 1 Corinthians 13

Grace!

This Friday April 27, 2012, after about 37 years of college (even though I am only 34), I will graduate from Florida Christian College with a B.A. in Preaching.  Usually one graduates college around the age of 21 or 22.  Obviously that is not always the case and there are many who graduate college later in life.  I am not one to give a testimony as there are so many more people that have a greater testimony that has a far more impact than me.  But I thought given the week for me, that I would share some things with you.  The things that share now have been confessed God and also to men.  I have nothing to hide and I no longer carry the burden of my sin because of Jesus.  I have been on the right path for many, many years now all thanks to Jesus Christ and my loving Father in Heaven...and grace, mercy, and forgiveness.  God never gave up on me even when others and I did.

I actually never wanted to go to Bible College or be a preacher.  I am not sure that I had a clear picture of what I wanted to do when I graduated High School in 1996 but I do know that I wasn’t going to college.  But as life tends to do…it throws you a curve ball.  We had family crisis in the summer of 1996 which destroyed my plans to stay home and work full time.  I had only one option and that was to go and enroll at Florida Christian College where both of my brothers had already graduated (and mother eventually would several years later).  I want to confess some things and make them clear to you.  I was a lazy, selfish, and a very much unmotivated young man.  And to be completely honest, even though my father was a preacher and I was raised in a very good Christian home, I didn’t care to walk the life of a Christian.  I believed in God and was baptized at 9 but I really didn’t have anything to do with Jesus or being a Christian.  It showed!  From 1996 to 1997, 3 semesters in at FCC and I probably had the lowest GPA of anyone walking the face of the earth.  Truth is I was too enticed with my sinful life. 

This sinful life led me to take a break from college for a year.  I never got caught or in trouble but my choices lead to a horrible GPA which caused me not have enough loan money to stay.  I moved away for year, didn’t change, and only grew worse.  I never paid back my loan so I defaulted.  For some reason I came back to FCC in 1999, worse than before.  My sinful life was in full swing.  Again two more semesters, the same GPA, the same sinful man, the same result. 

The thing that crushes me is I look through my old syllabuses and it angers me that I wasted the professor’s time.  They had so much to offer me and had given me the tools to succeed and in return I didn’t care.  I missed out!  There were people at this time in my life that called me a waste of potential.  I remember when I heard that, it hurt me.  Truth is that they were right.  I was a waste.  I was prideful, selfish, arrogant, and worst of all…a man who had forsaken the cross and instead of being dead to my old self, I let my sin control me.  Paul tells us,

 “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin.  Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.  Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”   Romans 6:1-11

I hurt so many people.  I had unholy relationships.  I had so many opportunities to let the Light of Christ shine and instead I used people to make me feel better.  I was liar and a loser.  Instead of glorifying God, I glorified my sinful life which Christ came to destroy and break the chain and instead of edifying my brothers and sisters in Christ, I torn them down.  I was vile man.  I am embarrassed, horrified and ashamed of the things I did to nail Jesus to the cross. 

But that is not the end of the story…as you have probably have guessed.

In the midst of the sin, the lie I was living…I became a paid minister for a church in south Florida.  Yeah, I don’t get it either.  I would like to tell you that my life changed the moment I was hired…but that is not the case.  Only months into my ministry, I was caught in sin. I hadn’t changed.  I should have been fired right then…but I wasn’t. 

The next several years in ministry were a battle.  They were a battle because something happened that I had never experienced.  I began to be abused extremely emotionally and at times physically from someone that I worked alongside of in ministry.  I didn’t stand up for myself and allowed this individual to abuse me.  Now instead of going to God to deal with the abuse…I turned to sin.  It got to the point, I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was done with God, church, people, and my life.  I committed the worse sin I could think of to get fired from ministry, I was walking away permanently.  I was tired.  My life’s choices had done nothing for me and sin wasn’t helping me but making everything worse.  I was going to kill myself.  I thought to myself that I deserved hell…it was true. 

I can only tell you that there are no lost causes with Jesus.  God intervened and I not only didn’t kill myself as I tried to but I also didn’t walk away from God.   It took the lowest of lows, for me to be completely broken to where finally all I could do was to reach for God and God alone.  Psalm 40:1-3a “I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God…”  I starting living the life that God had intended me to walk all along.  I finally became the man called me to be.  Scripture became real to me.  God’s plan became real to me.  Jesus’ love was very real to me.  I finally became the minister God called me to be.  I finally became the Christian that I was baptized to be.   

All of this is still a work in progress.  I was man who had reputation as a sinner, a waste, a liar, and a selfish loser.  God didn’t write me off even when He should have.  I have been on the right path for over 10 years.  I am amazed that with all that I have done that God  loves me the way He does but that shouldn't surprise me or anyone as you read His word.  I don’t get it or understand it but God has blessed me with a wife and three beautiful children.  He has helped me restore many broken relationships that I broke because of my sin.  I am an ordained minister in a local church carrying the passion of Jesus to all those that I meet.  I don’t deserve that but here I am.  God is awesome.  My reputation has changed because I have allowed Jesus to change me and people see it…and believe me, I don’t want that to ever change only grow.  I am so grateful that my identity is in Jesus and not my sin anymore.  I am overjoyed that the burden of my sin is gone and that there are no chains latched onto me.  God loves us…a love indescribable. Don't let sin entice you and run your life...it will only destroy it.     

Friday April 27, 2012…I will finally graduate FCC.  I never thought I would graduate.  God had other plans.  As His word says, "For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11  He is God of many “do-overs” and I love Him for that.  He gave me another chance.  We serve an awesome God!  To God be the glory forever and ever.  Sorry for talking your ear off.  Thanks for letting me share this.  That’s my story so far…

What do you communicate to your children?

Kids rock!  I enjoy serving them and being around them.  I love my children!  They are a blessing and joy!  Sadly not all children know this.  What do your children know? 

The other day I observed a mother who expressed to her children that they were a burden on her life.  I heard her refer to them as “stupid”, “idiots”, and “money suckers.”  There were other things she said but I will not repeat them.  This mother also didn’t seem to care that she was belittling her children in front of an audience.  These children were ages 4 and 6.  The children looked as though they just wanted love and affection from their mother but instead received aversion.  My heart broke for them and their mother. 

           

            As I reflected on what I saw and heard; I wondered what I communicate to my children.  I am very careful as a Dad to never say anything or do anything demeaning to my children even when I am angry with them.  But I am not perfect.  And it’s not just words that can communicate.  Not too long ago, I was home working.  Working required me to use my computer.  If you ever watch me work, I am intense and focused...most of the time.  My son Evan came to me, really wanting to show me something that was amazing and important to him.  He was excited!   But I was busy and had a deadline.  I told him not right now.  I said I would look at it later.  Later came and I didn’t see it.  I never followed through with him.   Evan wanted to show me something and instead I showed Evan that what I was doing was more important than him.  

            If we are not careful, we become no different than that mother.  Do our children come and seek love and affection from us and receive the opposite? I am guilty!  I have had to ask my children for their forgiveness.  I remember on a couple of occasions telling Evan how sorry I was and he looked right at me and said, “Daddy I love you and remember only Jesus is perfect.”  Thanks buddy! 

Children are NEVER a burden.  They are always important.  Psalms 127: 3 tells us that, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”  Jesus’ Apostles at one point thought that children were being a burden but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”  (Matthew 19:14).  Children need to know that we love them and have heart for them.  Not only by what we say to them but how we show it to them. 

            One day they will be grown and out of the house.  What will they have learned from us?  May the things you do and say be edifying to your children.  Love your children in accordance with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  Play with them, teach them, comfort them, laugh with them, love on them, and be a kid with them.   Kids Rock!

-James

Slow down...

I was the summer of1989.  I was eleven and in a hurry.  It was a Sunday night…it was church and dinner at Westside Christian Church in J-ville (Jacksonville), Fl.  I was in a hurry to play football with the boys…the crew.  At the time, I remember that our front doors in the lobby on both sides were solid wood with no way of seeing who was coming…well for me at least because I wasn’t big enough to see out of the top peep holes.  My mom had told me not run and slow down because people were coming in with food for the dinner through the front doors.  “Yeah, whatever” is what I said to myself.  My mom didn’t understand.  It was football time before church and it was the most important thing.  So I ran for the doors and I jumped and kicked the front door open.  Now as soon as I did that…I knocked one of our older ladies down.  I just didn’t knock her down…there were stairs (only 3 steps up but nonetheless) and she fell down those stairs and dropped the food on the ground that she had spent her entire afternoon preparing.  My response was “whoops” and I continued on to go play football.  About a minute later, I heard a familiar voice.  It was a voice I feared.  It was my dad and I heard him say, “James Marshall, you come inside right now…boy you better hurry up.”  I was a dead man walking.

I am reminded of this story as I write this because I am aggravated.  I am aggravated that just within the day…someone thought it was important to ride my bumper as I was going the speed limit in a residential zone.  Ray Charles could read the “Baby on Board” sign on my truck as well as seen my children in the back seat but apparently this person riding my tail didn’t concern themselves with my family’s well-being only their desire to get where they wanted go.  I am aggravated that I am also almost got into an accident because the person driving in front me was busy texting while they were driving.  Apparently it was more important to this individual to text their responses rather than calling or just waiting or better yet just pulling over.  I am aggravated because as continued to drive, there was another individual who decided that they didn’t want to be stuck behind a bus so they cut me off last second, making swerve my truck as not to hit their car.  I beeped my horn and received the middle finger.  All of these people had the, “yeah, whatever” mentality.  Apparently I didn’t understand, they had to get where they had to go and it was more important than my well-being or safety of me and my family. 

My father told me as I came inside the church that I had problem.  He said look, “You’ve hurt this lady and all of her time and money she spent into making something for the dinner tonight is out the window because you decided it was more important to not listen to your mother, be disobedient, and in a hurry.”   She had cut herself from falling down the steps.  She was crying…and now so was I.  My impatience, my disobedience, my selfishness had someone.  Now it wasn’t all that bad but it could have been. 

I am reminded as I share this story that I was eleven…but sometimes we don’t grow up or learn our lesson the first time…as adults we tend to still think like children.  Paul told the church in Corinth, “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” (1 Corinthians 13:11).  What’s our rush?  Why are we so impatient?  What is so important that we don’t care for the well-being of others and put their lives as well as ours at risk?  Slow down, breathe.   Paul reminds the church in Philippi, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4).  Now that reference has a lot to do with Jesus.  Those of us that are Christians…how is the Light of Jesus shining through us when we are in a rush…not patient…not caring for the well-being of other because we are in a hurry or something is more important?  How does it represent the fruit that the Spirit produces through the Christians? (Galatians 5)  It doesn’t! 

All I am saying today is this:   Be safe and be considerate…slow down, relax, God is sovereign! Be obedient and patient today.  Think of not only your well-being, but those around you as well.  Demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in all that you do.  Remember that there is nothing more important than loving God and loving people! 

What are you doing today?

What are you doing today?  Work?  Errands? Paying Bills? Being a Mommy…or Daddy?  Stuff?  All the above and more?  I bet during your normal (what’s normal) routine of a day…you come across many people or speak to many people on the phone.  Sometimes they are people like you or maybe they are people from different cultures, race, and economic backgrounds.  What do you talk about with these people…or do you talk with them at all? 

I want to talk with my fellow Christians…my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Have you noticed how crazy life seems to be lately?  Our economic times aren’t as good or great as we would like them to be.  Families are hurting…and breaking up.  People are putting faith into the wrong thing or things.  People are succumbing to addictions that are literally killing them.  People don’t seem care anymore.  The Media is promoting doom and gloom.  Well this actually nothing new as Solomon has told us.  But for you and I (Christ’s people) we know that God is bigger than what life throws at us.  We know that God is sovereign no matter what happens.  We know that Christ died for us that our joy can never be taken from us.   We see life through different lenses.  Now having said all of that to say this…are you sharing Christ with the hopeless, the broken, the hurting, and the lost?  In this moment…in this time…is our chance to shine the light of Jesus (Matthew 5:13-16). 

Too often as Christians we get caught up in doing things that are a waste of time.  Things that take away from growing God’s Kingdom.  Jesus said (in basic terms) to love God and love people.  Are you loving God by living a sanctified life and letting Christ shine through you?  Are loving and edifying your brothers and sisters in Christ and also loving people to Jesus? 

I want to share a brief story that was convicting to me.  In the past week, I was able to hear some friends of mine, Beth & DQ Roberts, who are bikers that have a ministry called Christian Riders Ministry.  Check them out here www.christianriders.org

DQ briefly shared his testimony and he acknowledged that at one point in his life that he was lost, broken, hurt, and all the above.  One of the decided factors into him coming to the Lord other than the story of Jesus and what Jesus did for him was a church person who grabbed DQ by the arm and told him that he was “home.”  Someone let the light of Christ shine through them and it led DQ to Jesus.  In turn, DQ and his bride Beth have been leading many to Jesus for over 20 years.  Beth and DQ literally went to the heart of the “lion’s den” and let the Light of Christ shine.   You never what could happen when you talk to someone about the Lord.  People need Jesus!  What was convicting were the words spoken by DQ after his testimony, he said, “I decided that I was going tell everyone about Christ, I wanted them to know the two greatest stories ever known:  The one about Jesus and the one about what Jesus did for us.  I had a vision that there were two lines before God:  One line was for those who were saved and the other line was for those who weren’t.  I decided that those in the other line were never going to be able to say to me, “Why did you never tell me about Jesus when talked to me?”  That last part of his talk convicted me.

How many do we have contact with daily and never tell them about Jesus?  How many have died with Christ all because we were caught up in our daily routines?  Jesus said that He was the Way, The Truth, and The Life and no comes to Father except through Him (John 14:6).  We know that, but what about those that don’t…have we told them.  To my brothers and sisters in Christ, you are familiar with Jesus' words in Matthew 28:18-20.  One day this life will be over and the new life we are so eager for will come.  Are there going to be people in the “other line” that say to you, “Why did you never tell me about Jesus when you talked to me?”  You know the story of Jesus and you know what Jesus did.  So back to my first question:  What are you doing today?